Quickies !!

This is what we call being "Drunk"

In life, never look down on anybody, unless you are getting a lovely view of the cleavage!

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Whenever you see a woman and an opportunity, don't screw the opportunity!

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Man Teases his ex-wife's new husband: So, dude how was the second-hand Stuff?
New husband: Not bad. After the first 3 inches, she was brand new.

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The saddest part of a Man's body is his Balls. The Lord Almighty sentenced them to : Hang Till Death !

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Girl: excuse me brother, that's my seat.
Boy: OK! But I'm not your brother, my father never slept with your mom.
Girl: True, but my father did!

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A football team loses their star player, Roger Dicks, due to an injury.
Next day a headline reads: Team to play without Dicks.The manager calls up the newspaper and objects, so the editor changes the Headline. It read: Team to play with Dicks out.

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What is the definition of a Lesbian?
Yet another damn woman trying to do a man's job!!!

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On a NUDIST's beach a man shakes hand with a lady & says: Pleased to meet you!
Lady: Yeah, I can SEE that.

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When God made me, He asked, "Great Memory or Giant Penis?".
I cant Remember what I said.

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What advice does the doctor give to sick prostitutes?
Stay out of BED for two days.

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I told my wife I want to die in bed.
She said, "You did last night - three times!"

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A loud scream comes from the bedroom and the husband runs in. He sees a guy leaping out of the window..
Wife yells: That guy just screwed me twice!
Husband: Twice? Why didn't you call me in after he screwed you the first time?
Wife: Because I thought it was you, until he started the second time.