Sunday, April 29, 2012
A young Chinese Waiter Guy gets married to a beautiful young Chinese virgin. Truth be told he is a virgin too, but she doesn ' t know that.
On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness. He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring.
' My darring, ' he whispers, ' I know is your firss time and you berry frighten. I pomise you, I give anyting you wan, I do anyting - juss anyting you wan. You juss ask. So. Whatchu wan? ' he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her.
Thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request. She eventually shyly whispers back, ' I want to try something I have heard about from other girls. Numbaa 69. '
More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her:
You want.... Garlic Chicken with steam vegetable?
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Battle Tank for Sale !!
Used at operation dessert storm
In good running condition
Can purchase using your credit card
Easy to drive
No the Credit Card company won't come behind you !!
All Models available
Leopard 2A5, T64, M60, Mk3, challenger 2, mk3d baz, M series
Also a life jacket to go along with the tank that can go on water, under the sea and over rocks - absolutely FREE with tank !!
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
A stranger was seated next to a little black girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The little girl, who had just opened her coloring book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "Since you are an Afro American, do you think that So-called President Barak Obama is qualified for the job?" and he smiles.
"OK", she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass -. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."
To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss President Barak Obama...when you don't know shit?"
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Thursday, April 19, 2012
click below image for a larger readable version - then we get to the rational behind the post
It indeed is an unfair world we live in - common what the Fcuk do the women think ?? Men are fair from tender age.
Indeed guys go for their heart and women thinking as below is a total misconception. We wouldn't call them sluts, flirts or bitches if they don't deserve ha?
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Is Rose stupid ? No Way !! She had the beans to leave a Man with a small Dick for a Minor just to get her inner buds teased. She indeed did not want the relationship to go on after they reach the shores.
These are many ways she could have saved jack if she really wanted - Scientifically proven methods are illustrated below !
This is how people save their lives if they really want to - live in harmony - save life together
I mean - what was the Director thinking?? Was it directed by George Bush ??
Monday, April 16, 2012
If you buy stuff on line, check out the seller carefully. Be careful on what you purchase on eBay.
Gorinder Singh spent £50 on a penis enlarger. Bastards sent him a magnifying glass.
Instructions said- "Do not use in the sunlight"
Sunday, April 8, 2012
A professor at Auburn University was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, 'How many people here believe in ghosts?'
About 90 students raise their hands.
Well, that's a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?'
About 40 students raise their hands.
That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?'
About 15 students raise their hand.
Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?'
Three students raise their hands.
That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further...Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?'
Way in the back, Ahmed raises his hand.
The professor takes off his glasses and says 'Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience.'
The Middle Eastern muslim student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, 'So, Ahmed, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?'
Ahmed replied, "Shit, from way back there I thought you said Goats."
We pick on Muslims too much, right? - Bad us - trust me they are wondeful people... We all have rotten eggs in our own societies and they do have their share as well. But that doesn't mean they are all bad !!
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Husband texts to wife on cell.. "Hi, what r u doing Darling?"
Wife: I'm dying..!
Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?"
Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.."
Husband: "Bloody English Language!
Angry wife to her husband
An Angry Wife To Her Husband 0n Phone:
"Where d Hell Are You ...?"
Husband: Darling You Remember That Jewellery Shop Where You Saw The Diamond Necklace n Totally Fell In Love With It n I Didn't Have Money That Time n I said "Baby It'll Be Yours 1 Day ...
"O:) Wife, With A Smile & Blushing: Yeah I Remember That My Love!
Husband: I ‘m in the Pub Just Next To That Shop
An intelligent wife
''An Intelligent Wife Is One Who Makes Sure She Spends So Much hat Her Husband Can't Afford Another Women"
New SIM to surprise her husband
Woman Buys A New Phone And Decides To Surprise Her Husband Who Is Seated On The Couch In The Living Room. She Goes To The Kitchen, Calls Her Husband With The New Number: "Hello Darling"
The Husband Responds In A Low Tone: "Let Me Call U Back Later Honey, The Dumb Lady Is In The Kitchen..
Cool message by a wife
Cool Msg by a woman: Dear Mother-in-law, "Don't Teach me how 2 handle my children, I'm living with one of yours & he needs a lot of improvement"
Sweet demand by kid
A Sweet demand by a kid.
A kid was beaten by his mom. Dad came n asked - what happen son?
Kid said-I can’t adjust with your wife anymore, I want my own.
Lion bounced on wife
In an African Safari, A LION suddenly bounced on Jack's wife.
WIFE: Shoot him! Shoot him!
Jack: Yes, Yes. I'm changing d battery of my camera..
I will think about it
When a married man says "I'll think about it",
What he really means that, He doesn't know his wife's opinion yet..
Habit of talking in sleep
A Lady to Doctor:
My husband has habit of talking in sleep! what shud i give him to cure?
Dr: Give him an Opportunity to speak wen hez awake
Part & Art of living
Having "WIFE" Is A Part Of Living...
But Having "GIRLFRIEND" Along With The "WIFE" Is Art Of Living.
Husband, wife & spare tyre
HUSBAND and WIFE are like 2 tyres of a vehicle. If 1 punctures, the vehicle can't move further
Moral: Always Keep a SPARE TYRE....
Who is guilty (Husband / Wife)?
Wife is dreaming in the middle of the night and suddenly shouts: "Up! Quick! My husband is back!" Man gets up, jumps out of the window, hurts himself, and then realizes: "Damn, I am the husband!"
NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN
Nobody teaches Volcanoes to erupt, Tsunamis to devastate, Hurricanes to sway around & no one teaches How to choose a Wife, NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN.
Dream of receiving jewellery & clothes
Wife: last night I had a dream that u were sending me jewellery and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw your dad paying the bill!!!
Recently fired stock trader
A recently fired stock trader said ...
"This is worse than divorce... I have lost everything & I still have my wife..."
Message of the year
Message of the year:-
Wmen live a better, longer & peaceful life..!!
Why? Very simple...
A woman does not have a wife..!!!
Why did u shoot ur wife?
Judge: why did u shoot ur wife instead of shooting her lover?
Jack: Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.
This is probably the best and most civil way to have a fight between husband and wife instead of resorting to physical force... Poems w...
Pretty interesting set of thoughts for those who are bored and do not know what to do. Ya, we all go through that phase of time once in a w...
Love the shoes Mate - Just Love it !!! Whether you golf or not, these are AWESOME shoes! Nike now markets G reen � Shoes , first s...
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think...
Well, how many times have you typed an SMS on your phone with the T9 on and it has given you words that made you roll over and laugh your A$...