Suicide Girls and Bikers !

Back on January 9th, a group of Pekin, Illinois bikers were riding west on Interstate 74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge . So they stopped.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says,

"Hey Baby.....whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"

She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide...!!"

While he didn't want to appear 'sensitive', George also didn't want to miss this 'be-a-legend' opportunity either, so he asked...

"Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe... why don't you give ole George here your best last kiss?"

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.

After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says,

"Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why in the world are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

It's still unclear whether (she/he? )jumped or was pushed

BEST MARRIAGE COUNCILOR EVER !

Betty had convinced herself that she was unhappily married…! After much introspection, she ultimately confronted her loving husband Bob with the suggestion that they seek marriage guidance counselling. After 25 years of matrimony, she felt the magic had gone from their marriage. Bob’s real passion had become Lawn Bowls and no longer her! Ever willing to please, Bob conceded.

After introductions and pleasantries and being seated in the handsome young guidance councillor’s very comfortably furnished rooms, he turned solemnly to Betty and enquired of her what she felt the problem was. Betty launched unreservedly into a passionate, painful tirade… listing every personal problem she perceived she and Bob had ever encountered in their 25 years of married life. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage. 

Finally, after allowing the oratory to continue for an ample length of time, the analyst arose, walked around the desk, looked pensively at Betty and after asking her to stand, embraced her, unbuttoned her blouse and bra, placed his large, soft, warm hands on her breasts and massaged them thoroughly, whilst kissing her passionately, as her bemused husband Bob watched with interest!

Highly aroused, Betty was finally speechless. Blushing profusely, she buttoned up her blouse and quietly sat down while basking in the glow of the councilors attentive actions.

The councilor returned to his seat, sat down, turned to Bob, looked him square in the eyes and calmly said: 'Bob, this is what your wife needs, at least three times a week…can you do this?'

Bob thought pensively for a moment and then replied enthusiastically, 'Well yes, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays…...But on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays I play bowls!