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Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 7, 2020

Coincidence it is ...




Man In Bar Orders Tiger Beer.

Lady Next To Him - What a coincidence, I am having Tiger Beer too. 🍺

Man - I'm celebrating.

Lady - Me too.

Man - What a coincidence ! Why are you celebrating ?

Lady - My husband & I have tried 4 years for a baby. Today I'm pregnant!


Man - What a coincidence! I am a farmer. For 4 years my hens couldn't lay any eggs. Today all are laying eggs!

Lady - Wow! How did that happen?

Man - I used a different cock πŸ“

Lady smiled and said

WHAT A COINCIDENCE !!!

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

I am Coming too !


Share your laughter with your friends.... Let's share on social media friends.. 



Little Musa comes to school with a black eye regularly. The teacher notices this and thinks of having a chat with little Musa. 


TEACHER: What's wrong?

MUSA : Our house is very small.

MUSA: My mum, my dad and I, we all sleep on the same bed. Every night my dad asks, Musa r u sleeping?' Then I say 'No' and then he slaps my face and gives me a Black eye"


Teacher: Tonight when ur dad asks again, keep dead quiet. don't answer. The following morning Musa comes back with a severe black eye again.

Teacher: My goodness why the black eye again?

Musa : Dad asked me again, Musa are you sleeping? I shut up and kept dead still. Then my dad and my mom started moving, u know, at the same time Mum was breathing like a Christmas chicken, kicking her legs up frantically and squealing like a hyena on the bed. 

Then my dad asked my mum, R u coming? Mum said, Yes I'm coming, r u coming too? Dad answered:- Yes. 

They don't usually go anywhere without me so I said, wait for me, I'm coming tooo πŸ˜‚

Thursday, August 23, 2018

Short Dirty Jokes !



Six Laughs to Share with your friends !!


Number 1: 

A man was so jealous of his newly born baby that he put poison on the wife's nipples while she was asleep. The next day their driver died of poisoning. ****
πŸ’‰


Number 2: 

A man is dying of cancer, but keeps telling people he is dying of AIDS. His son asked his Dad why. He answered, "so that when I am dead, no one will sleep with your mum." ****
πŸ‘™


Number 3:  

A lady lost three panties in her house and blamed her maid in front of the husband. Maid said "sir. you are my witness you know I never wear panties!"
****
πŸ”©


Number 4: 

Couple is having a quickie and their 6 year old catches them. "What are you doing?" Asks the son. 

Father: "I’m putting petrol in your Mom." 

Son: " Which means Mom’s engine is consuming too  much petrol, cause Uncle Pedro, just filled her tank yesterday evening!" Mother fainted!!!!
****
πŸ’΅πŸΊ


Number 5: 

A man went to the pub with his wife. 
When he left for the counter to buy drinks a prostitute approached his wife & whispered, "You must DEMAND cash before sex, I know him he doesn't pay. ****
🍼🎱


Number 6: 

An 8 year old boy is accused of rape. In court his lady lawyer holds his dick out as evidence saying, "Your Honour see this, can he rape with this tiny tot?

"The boy whispers, "Don't shake it, we'll lose the case!" ****
πŸ“­


Now that you've smiled, don't be stingy with the smiles, share them With 6 friends for 6 Laugh


Monday, August 14, 2017

Husband and Wife Loyalty Tests

Share on Social Media pls.. 




Test 1:

Wife buys 12 under wears of same colour for hubby..πŸ”»

Hubby- Why same colour sweetheart. people will think I never change my underwear.
Wife- Which people❓😑😑😑

Total silence...πŸ˜³πŸ˜πŸ˜–πŸ˜·



Test 2:

A couple sees a hot girl.. πŸ˜πŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒ
Wife: So big, aren't they? 😳😳
Husband: Yes πŸ‘€
Wife: Are they artificial?
Husband: I think natural. 😎😎
Wife: Ear-rings & Natural?? 

Total Silence 😐😐😐



Test 3:
Men will always be Men Even if they are Indian...

Once a group of men decided to go for Tirth Yatra - a ritual practiced in India. Their guide explained to them that they might see some ladies bathing in open and they should not get distracted at all. 

When they see anything like that, they should just say HARI OM and move on. 

Next day they started the yatra and one of the men in the group said- "HARI OM" ...

The rest of them said- "WHERE WHERE!" πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†... πŸ˜…

Friday, July 14, 2017

Use the 4 letter word Carefully !!




Wife has broken her leg and her Hubby comes after work.

Hubby How r u doing??

Wife: Fine.

Hey, do me a favour.. Go upstairs and get me my slippers. My feet are freezing!

Hubby goes upstairs and sees Wife's hot two sisters lying on the bed.


Hubby: Ur sister sent me up to have sex with you girls..

Sisters: Prove it!

Hubby (Shouting): Hey Honey.., both of them ??


Wife:  (Shouting back): Of course! What's d point of fucking one???...

Absolute Classic!!!πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜œ

Friday, June 28, 2013

Sex with Pet !


A blonde goes to her local pet store in search of an 'exotic' pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box FULL of frogs.

The sign says: 
'SEX FROGS'
Only $20each!
Comes with 'complete' instructions.

The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, 'I'll TAKE one!'

As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, 'Just follow the instructions!'

The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.

As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully She does EXACTLY what is specified:

1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.
4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you, and allow the frog to do what hehas been trained to do.

She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise . . NOTHING happens! The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, 'If you have any problems or questions .. please call the pet store.'

So, she calls the pet store. The man says, 'I'll be right over.' Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, 'See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just SITS there!'

The man . . . looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares 'directly into its eyes' and STERNLY says: 
'LISTENTO ME!!
I'm only going to show you how to do this
ONE MORE TIME...
 

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

A teacher's story about Stuttering


A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter,' she says.

A little girl raises her hand. 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered.' The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

"Well," she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!'

'That must've been scary,' said the teacher.

'It sure was,' said the little girl. 

'My kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF," but before she could say 'Fuck-off !,' the Rottweiler ate her!

The teacher had to leave the room. 

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